A Study of Male Fans Chasing Stars from the Perspective of Gender Role

The key things that you need to work on are:

  1. Structure. Get your dissertation into the proper structure, as outlined in the dissertation workshops (the slides are on Blackboard). You move back and forth a lot which makes the document very confusing for the reader
  2. You assume that the reader knows all about gender and sexuality in China and also these music groups that you are discussing, as well as the types of activities that their fans might engage in. For a British reader a lot of this does not make sense. Who are these music groups, what sorts of things do they do? What does being a ‘fan’ of these groups entail (there is a social welfare group and a sports event discussed at one point?)? Why is it do bad for a man to be ‘accused’ or ’suspected’ of being gay in China? You need to explain all of the basics at the start so the rest of the discussion makes sense.
  3. You do not discuss the relationship between sexuality and gender performativity (in the Chinese context) in the literature review, which you need to do in order for the rest of the dissertation to make sense.
  4. You will need to get the dissertation read for written English clarity. There are many places where I could not work out where you were trying to say.
  5. You have far too many quotes and the dissertation as a hole is far too long. You need to edit down the quotes, organise them clearly under analytical subheadings, and make sure that you weave through them the theoretical insights introduced in the literary review.
  6. You seem to have conducted face to face fieldwork at a time when this was banned by the university. I don’t know how you can resolve this but it is likely to be raised by the person who marks the dissertation.

 

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