Reflection Paper in Letter Form: Relationships

Reflection Paper Option #1 – Relationships

Essay in Letter Form

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Reflection Paper Option #1 – Relationships

Chapter #7 discusses something just about everyone is familiar with – relationships!  99% of us have been in at least one relationship – even if it did not ultimately end up sexual.  Most of us have experienced being in love.  The following will help you get an average grade – or 70 out of 100 points – so just doing these things will get you the grade.  If you want a better grade, you must do more than this.  If you do what I ask you to do and nothing more – you will get the grade listed.  You do not need to write a 10 page paper to do good on this – however, you must thoroughly discuss and use the book (and other outside research) above and beyond what is asked for a good grade.

Write an informal paper addressing all of the following topics about relationships.  Please write your paper in letter form – i.e. A) – Your feedback, B) Your feedback, etc.. You should specifically cite the book when you use it by saying, “According to the book, it says that…” or “According to the book on page 184, it notes…” – just using book terms does not necessarily specify that you have used the book.

  1. A) Take the longest relationship you’ve ever had – and discuss it via Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love.  Which stages of the relationship came first in this particular relationship?  Did certain areas fall off?  How did it progress through the stages?  What factors caused it to NOT fall in line with what a normal relationship is (See the book for more info on what a “normal” relationship passes through)
  2. B) Which of Lee’s styles of loving do you think BEST fits your personality and why?  Choose only ONE and explain it.
  3. C) What type of people are you attracted to and why?
  4. D) How important is physical attractiveness to you?  Where do you rate yourself (physical attractiveness) on a 1-10 scale and what “range” is your acceptable range that you would date on a scale of 1-10 (i.e. I think I’m a 6 – and I would only date people from 4-7) – explain why you feel the way you do.  Compare and contrast your view to the book’s view.
  5. E) What type of attachment style do you use in relationships?  Why do you think you have those types of relationships?
  6. F) The book discusses “Friends with benefits” – is this something you believe is successful or not successful for people in general?
  7. G) The book discusses maintaining relationship satisfaction in detail – and discusses techniques for listening, saying no, sexual communication, talking, discussing, sharing sexual histories,  discovering our partner’s needs, self-disclosure, using “I” language, expressing complaints, etc.  Take any relationship that has failed in the past – and use FIVE techniques discussed in the book to explain a deficiency in the relationship and how it could have been corrected using the techniques in the book.(See Chapter 7, pg. 232….Destructive Communication Tactics.

Relative percentages of the parts to your grade (also, a clue on how much you should devote writing-wise to each part)

A – 20%

B – 15%

C – 10%

D – 10%

E – 15%

F – 10%

G – 30%

Your overall paper should be at least 1500 words at a minimum (if you are looking to JUST pass) and use the book at least 5 times (JUST to pass)

Extra Credit: If your paper is submitted in perfect APA format (no errors – should include a running head, abstract and proper levels of headers – and the writing center can help you achieve this) – you can earn 10 bonus points – even if that makes your grade go over 100. 


Turn in your final paper over one of the three stated options.  Remember, if you turn your paper in using perfect (not one mistake, not two mistakes – but zero mistakes) APA format, you will receive a bonus 10 points.  Feel free to use the writing center for advice.  Be sure you include a running head and proper reference page.


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