Application Essay (Rewrite)

I’m looking for assistance from a tutor to help me write a college application essay. I originally tried to write it and I’m not sure it meets with the original topic, so I’m requesting a tutor to rewrite it.

I want this essay to be perfect so I will get accepted into some universities containing this essay topic.

I will upload two files: my original essay and a file that containts important info containing sources that show how the essay should be written

I will communicate via message chat if needed.

Essay Topic:
statement of purpose will provide an opportunity to explain any extenuating circumstances that you feel could add value to your application. You may also want to explain unique aspects of your academic background or valued experiences you may have had that relate to your academic discipline. The statement of purpose is not meant to be a listing of accomplishments in high school or a record of your participation in school-related activities. Rather, this is your opportunity to address the admissions committee directly and to let us know more about you as an individual, in a manner that your transcripts and other application information cannot convey.